CELL PHONES, IMPLANTS AND MICROWAVE OVENS

Friday, January 12, 2007

CELL PHONES, IMPLANTS AND MICROWAVE OVENS

A friend recently lost his cell phone. I told him that when I was a little kid I kept loosing my mittens, so my mom clipped huge safety pins to my sleeve-cuffs, which she attached to the mittens, and it worked out pretty well. (From my mom’s point of view, however from mine, when the other kids saw the mittens attached they beat me about the head and neck with their mittens, with hands inside).

He quipped that he’d seen the new ear-clip phones making people look like someone out of Star Trek and that maybe he should get a phone implanted right in his brain. I avoided saying that first you need to have a brain, and instead volunteered the following:

I know a guy who does implants but only phone chips or brain implants, however, the hitch that his eyesight is really poor these days, and he likes to snack during his surgeries, so often he grabs, instead of phone chips, potato chips, which probably, depending on your point of view, could be good or bad. IE-if you have any head leaks and you don't mind soggy chips when it rains, that might be good. On the other hand, you still won't get any phone messages, and of course, there are still other issues, for instance, if you aren't already hearing a ringing in the head, you will be after the implants. Take me for instance; I hear ringing all the time. I used to constantly run to the door, the microwave or the phone, now I just stick cotton in my ears. Doesn't stop the ringing but does remind me that it’s literally all in my head with the potato chips.

The drawback is that when the phone, or the doorbell, or the micro wave are actually ringing and I don’t answer, my friends come over and beat me about the head and neck with the doorbell, the phone or the microwave.

I don’t like electronics anymore, do you?

Posted by PETE BAGNOLO at 9:00 AM